5/22/2010 - Devo Spice

I am going to be away from a computer on Saturday, so the song of the day gets posted a few hours early.  Since Friday was the 30th anniversary of Pac Man, complete with really cool Google homepage with working Pac Man game, I figured we needed a Pac Man song.  So this is the 2007 release of Sudden Death's "Pac-Man" featuring ShoEboX, a parody of "Smack That" by Akon and Eminem.  It is still my favorite Pac Man song out there, although "Pac-Man is Naked and So Should You" is pretty good too.

So here's Devo Spice with ShoEboX with "Pac-Man".  Enjoy:

<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=7,0,0,0" width="400" height="100" id="player" align="middle">
        <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="sameDomain" />
        <param name="movie" value="http://www.thefump.com/embedded_player.swf?fumpID=46" />
        <param name="quality" value="high" />
        <param name="bgcolor" value="#ffffff" />
        <embed src="http://www.thefump.com/embedded_player.swf?fumpID=46" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" width="400" height="100" name="player" align="middle" allowScriptAccess="sameDomain" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer"></embed>
        </object>

<b>Lyrics</b>
8-bit, up front
Processor, Z-80
224 x 288 displaydy
Up at dawn, see the girl that I stayed with
Joystick callin' me, begging to be played with
Jump up, and then I make a run for
Find the nearest arcade, bust through the front door
I hear it, gotta track down
Ooh I see it, in the back now
I obey its insert coin orders
Money no problem, pocket full of quarters
I hear it beeping, I can see it in the corner
Wanna caress the yellow decals that adorn her
Maybe I'll take it home and hide it near my porno
And possibly play it naked, stand back I'm playing

Pac-Man, I'll play some more
Pac-Man, my arm is sore
Pac-Man, drool on the floor
Pac-Man, oooohhh
Pac-Man, I play for days
Pac-Man, I cleared the maze
Pac-Man, the practice pays
Pac-Man, (death sound)

Ooh, looks like another dumb sequel, they'll never
Equal the classic Pac-Man game
Baby Pac, Super Pac, what's next, Grandma and
Grandpa Pac-Man, man that's lame
Ghosts chase him all through the light blue walls
Eat a power pellet now they got blue balls
Wondering how he even moves at all
Or how much he can eat before nature calls
Cleared that stage didn't think I could do it
Gonna try the next one, nothing to it
Inky and Blinky got me on the run
And Pinky, ("NARF!"), no the other one
But there's a door to the right and I sneak away
Come back on the left now I'm on my way
It defies the laws of physics but I can't complain
Because I live to play again another day, Pac-Man!
I play each day so that my game will keep improving
Some day I'll figure out just how the ghosts are moving
Can't wait to see the big budget live action movie
With Richard Simmons as Pinky, and Patrick Stewart as
Pac-Man, I played till 4:00
Pac-Man, got the high score
Pac-Man, my wife is sore
Pac-Man, "Get your ass back home right now!"
Pac-Man, I see that blob
Pac-Man, my nipples throb
Pac-Man, I lost my job
Pac-Man, "You're fired!"

Games today, they got high def graphics
Real time 3D, looking fantastic
Accurate physics, rumble controllers
Sex and violence and still these games all
Suck! Seriously, what the f...heck?!
They play just like a train wreck
They can't compete with this yellow circle

I play it every time I'm hanging out at the mall
It's on my cell phone so I play whenever I call
Maybe I'll have the ROM implanted in my eyeball
So that I'm always playing, 'cause damn I love that
Pac-Man, big yellow head
Pac-Man, no blood is shed
Pac-Man, no hookers dead
Pac-Man, ooooohhh
Pac-Man, can't play no more
Pac-Man, they locked the door
Pac-Man, "You're mom's a whore!"
Pac-Man, "Let me in, damn it! I have to play! *sob* Pac-Man! PAAAAC-MAAAAANNNNN!! *bwa-ha-ha!*

"Dammit, where's my megaphone?"
"Dude, you're totally obsessed"
"Oh, bite me."

Read more...

5/21/2010 - Daniel Iorio

Daniel Iorio is a songwriter from Montreal. With the hockey playoffs now featuring the Montreal Canadians and the Philadelphia Flyers, I guess some bad blood is starting to brew. Hearing that it is Philadelphia, that little surprise. After all, they booed Santa Clause. One fan purposely threw up on an off-duty police officer and his daughter at a Phillies game.
Well, apparently Pat Hickey, a sports writer who follows the Montreal Canadians, was parked outside of the hockey game in Philadelphia when someone vandalized his car, ripped off the rubber from the front bumper, and stole his license plate. Having to drive back to Montreal that night, he did get stopped twice by the police but they let him go because they heard about the incident on the news. Well, the guy who vandalized the car was brilliant. He went and posted the stolen license plate picture on Facebook bragging how he vandalized some poor Montreal fan's car. He is now denying it was him since the police have become involved, but I see a segment here for News of the Stupid.
Daniel Iorio does a parody of "Streets of Philadelphia" called, "Cheese of Philadelphia." Enjoy:

Read more...

5/20/2010 - Tim Hawkins

Tim Hawkins is a comedian who does parody songs from time to time. If you have a chance to check out his youtube channel because there are many funny songs there. This is his newest one, a parody of "Dust in the Wind."
As I told my wife yesterday, fart humor is always funny. So this is "A Whiff of Kansas" by Tim Hawkins. Enjoy:

Read more...

5/19/2010 - Brent Jowers

Ugly jokes can be funny. As long as they aren't too serious or against the ugly kid at school. Making fun of ugly kids is no fun. But this song is pretty good -- not too serious, not directed at a kid, so it's acceptable.
Brent Jowers is a 33 year old from Hianes City, Florida and has had some of his songs played on local radio stations in Jacksonville, Tampa and St. Louis -- where St. Louis came from, beats me.
This song is called, "Fuglyville" and is a parody of "Chain Hang Low". Hope you enjoy it.

Lyrics
INTRO
This song is called Fuglyville. It's for all the people looking like they were a saber necked marsh badger in a previous life, but didn't complete the metamorphosis

CHORUS
You look like a scarecrow mated with a buffalo
Please don't stand near the light, or your fuglyness will glow
It looks like your shoulders threw up ugly casserole
Ooh your face is gross
Is that your face?

Catfish would even think that it is a disgrace
It hurts my eyes just like I sprayed my face with mace
Plus it could be a stunt double for your ace
Is that your face(repeat)

VERSE 1
It's true that you are ugly
Head butt a moving truck, you would look more studly
And you are not Luke, and I am not your father
But you need Vader's mask, cause you look like Chewbacca
Face fubared like you bobbed for hot grits
And you need to get a grip on them chapped lips
Cause they're all cracked up, dry rotted and they're split
Get them right, treat them nice, and go get some Chap Stick
Man it seems that your lips are straight beat
They're all cracked up, just like some old concrete
So chapped and white, looking at them seems
Just like they are a stack of powdered Krispy Kremes

CHORUS

Verse 2
It's true that you are hoagly
You made a pit bull ball up like a rolly polly
Your mom puts your pictures in a tinted frame kid
They make you wear a ski mask when you're in the bank kid
You're looking scary to me
Plus your eyes are bugged out like a ferret on speed
And your skin I mean please
It's greasy and oily as truck stop grilled cheese
Your toofs are looking crude
Green, yellow, orange, red, blue, like a Rubik's Cube
And you need to buy cream
Cause your face is bumpy like Braille Chinese writing
Got a unibrow, Schick Tracer's what you're needing
Looks like a chipmunk is on your forehead sleeping
Call you bongo, looks like your face done took a beating
Every time you knock on someone's door, they think you're trick or treating

CHORUS
OUTRO
You know how they say ugly's a relative term
Well that's appropriate...
Because your relatives..
They're looking pretty beat down too.
Why don't you go burrow in the muck somewhere...
You're scaring the children...and the bunny rabbits...
That's just not right no matter how you cut it...
Now get out of public before an aardvark files a restraining order on you

Read more...

5/18/2010 - Jeff Reuben

Well, this was late. Sorry, I woke up late. So I had to do it after work, which means that I get to look for stuff that came out during the day, including this song. This is Jeff Reuben's new song: "Carry-On". Love airport humor, especially since I'll be flying in a couple of weeks. Must pack the razor in my non-carry-on unless I want to be Grizzly Adams with a beard.

Here's Jeff Reuben with "Carry-On"

Lyrics
Airport: I'm taking no crap
Flip off attendants outside at the sky cap
Not gonna check luggage, for my trip to Italy
They'd end up in Sudan, or in the Bering Sea

Got my bag, headed through security
It's a good thing I got here six hours early
So with a huff, put my stuff through the x-ray
Then the guard told me what he would take a-way

Took my knives, sheers, beers, wine, ski poles, naughty toys
And my pet rat, sword, bat
Won't fly with the TSA boys

Let me find my license, baby, while I wait in line
Check the boarding pass to see the seat I've been assigned
Just want to get on to the airplane
But they told me of a fee that I did not pay

Check it

Thought I'd save a little money with my
Carry-on
Did not pack a bulky suitcase just a
Carry-on
Used my gross, old gym bag for my
Carry-on
Should have washed my bag before I
Brought it on

Why the hell they gonna charge me for my
Carry-on
It took time to stuff my whole life in this
Carry-on
I asked why, they didn't want to
Hear it boy
So I paid, they told me "That's the
'Spirit'" boy

Anyone, else think it's kind of strange
That the in-flight movie is Snakes On A Plane
Now of course you know I see the 'Fasten Seatbelt' sign
You see I hope that you can help me out with mine

Baby there's no need for you to be rude
Please just answer don't give me no altitude
Getting hungry, can you feed me
And can you bring a pillow and blankee?

I want nuts, chips, drinks, shots and sky mag
And if I get airsick
I'd like to buy a vomit bag

When the stewardess comes, Imma make my move
Cause I think she's hot and she likes to groove
And now she's giving me the eye I think she's into me
But to join Club Mile High, she will charge a fee

Sold!

Must be policy to charge me for my
Carry-on
Wish I'd shut up but I think I'm gonna
Carry-on
Shouldn't pack, my razor in my
Carry-on
Shouldn't pack, no lasers in my
Carry-on

Still I can't believe they charged me for my
Carry-on
They have height and weight restrictions on my
Carry-on
Shouldn't pack, no ice cream in my
Carry-on
Cause they won't, help me clean out my
Carry-on

"What's your name?
Where's your passport?
Did someone ask
You to take stuff for them?"

Open flame
A six-pack of beer
I know it's lame
You can't take that on here

Your luggage may (What's your name?)
Have shifted (Pull my finger)
Please be careful (Please don't stuff me)
When you unload it (In the overhead bin)

Seats upright (Approaching)
In locked position (Our final descent)
Put up your trays (We're glad you flew)
In good condition (With us, please come again)

Thought I'd save a little money with my
Carry-on
Did not pack a bulky suitcase just a
Carry-on
Used my gross, old gym bag for my
Carry-on
Should have washed my bag before I
Brought it on

Why the hell they gonna charge me for my
Carry-on
It took time to stuff my whole life in this
Carry-on
I asked why, they didn't want to
Hear it
So I paid, they told me "That's the
'Spirit'"

Please don't kick me off!

Read more...

5/17/2010 - Tom Smith

Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of the death of one of my favorite people ever, Jim Henson. Anyone who has ever picked up a puppet, who has ever performed in front of an audience, has something to thank Jim Henson for. He elevated the art of puppetry beyond anything it had ever seen before and gave the world the puppet icon to this day. The Muppets lost their way for years after the death of Jim Henson and I think they are barely starting to get back on track 20 years later. His creativity, his dreams, his rainbow chasing is too hard to replace and only be hoped to be imitated. I saw a speech by Frank Oz from Jim's memorial service that said that Jim Henson was a great appreciator, one who can stand back and see the good even in the mistakes and appreciate it. Frank said that the pose he remembers Jim in is not with the puppet on his hand but with his arms crossed, watching a TV and smiling at the work being done, appreciating it. I think that's inspirational, to appreciate what is there as another moment to laugh, love and live.
This song isn't funny. You may want to grab some tissue. It is "A Boy and His Frog" by Tom Smith. Thank you Jim for the fond memories that still guide me to chase the rainbows, move right along through good news and bad news, and see the world through the eyes of puppets.
"A Boy and His Frog":

Lyrics
Life is unfair, so they tell me,
Because they think I wouldn't know.
They only can see a cheap gimmick
On their children's favorite show.

They say, "Oh, that's just foam and a wire,
Attached to a green velvet sleeve,
Anyone can do that" -- well, that's true, I suppose,
But who else could make them believe?

What can I say without you there to guide me?
How else am I supposed to give?
How can I sing without you there beside me?
How else am I supposed to live?

You could never just do the expected,
I was just an idea in a bog,
But you sewed up your dream and we made quite a team,
Jim and Kermit, a boy and his frog.

It was me, Rolph, and you, but I think that he knew
There was something that you and I had.
The magic we made just kept growing,
And none of it ever was bad.

Then came Ernie and Scooter and Gonzo,
Doctor Teeth, Cookie Monster, and more.
But now all of those voices are silent,
And I want to go on... but what for?

No one can make me what you did,
No one could walk in your shoes,
Nothing can make me forget you,
But that's not a thing that I'd choose.

I can't just let it be over,
And you wouldn't want it that way,
So I'll stand up and I'll face it,
And, though not quite in your voice, I'll say:

I will go on without you there to guide me,
There's so much more I can give.
Whenever I sing, you will be there beside me,
As long as I keep you, you'll live.

We just wanted to make people happy,
I was always much more than your toy.
I will never regret and I'll never forget
What we had,
I'll miss you, Dad,
This frog and his boy.

Read more...

5/16/2010 - Seamonkey

They have holidays for everything. Today, for instance, is Sea Monkey day. They have holidays for dementia artists now? When is Luke Ski day? Barnes and Barnes Day? How about a day for William Shatner? Oh wait, I did that holiday.
So, here is Seamonkey with "Minimum Wage" to celebrate his holiday. Enjoy:



Lyrics
My job's going nowhere... so's my pay
And my employer has me workin' every day
And what do I get for bein' a slave?
FIVE BUCKS AN HOUR!
That's only pocket change...

Even though I know
Business has been slow
So has my cash flow
I need more dough!

Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!
And my boss will say what is my loss is always his gain!
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!

Now they paid me... only two days ago
And now it's all gone! Nothin' left to show
And what do I want? I want a raise!
But what do I get?
A decrease in pay....

All my money's spent
I got no benefits
But I must pay rent
So I can't quit !!!!!

Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!
And my Uncle Sam's wanting more than I'll ever make!
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum WAGE!

Tell me now this can't be true
What am I supposed to do?
Tell me now this can't be true, yeah
I'm about to come unglued!
Tell me now what can I do oh yeahhhhhhh....

Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!
And my boss will say what is my loss is always his gain!
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum WAGE!

Despite all my rage I am still making minimum
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum
Despite all my rage I am still making minimum wage!

Tell me now this can't be true
I feel like I'm getting screwed
Now my phone bill's three months overdue!

And I still believe that I must have a raise!
And I still believe that I must have a raise!
Yeah I still believe that I must have a raise!
I still believe that I must have a raise!

Read more...

5/15/2010 - Veggietales

Well, today I am leading a Veggietales Sing-A-Long at my parent's church. A friend of mine introduced me to Veggietales shortly after I got out of the Navy and I grabbed that like it was oxygen and ran with it. I did a speech in my college speech class about what Veggietales was and why they should be watching it (which got rave reviews.) The kids at my church have all been introduced to it numerous times. I know a most of the early songs (the last few DVDs I have been too busy to actually even watch... must get around to that.) So when my mom wanted to do a Veggietales Sing-A-Long, she asked me to lead it. It should be fun... singing some songs, doing some magic, performing with Clunky, my big brown Cookie Monster like puppet. I wouldn't consider it a Medemia concert because, well, it's not my songs, but I can see where it is good experience :) It should be fun.
In the middle of most Veggietales shows, there is a segment called, "Silly Songs with Larry." It's the part of the show where Larry (the Cucumber) comes out and sings a silly song. Fun stuff. This is one of my favorite silly songs, "Schoolhouse Polka". Enjoy:

Read more...

5/14/2010 - The Aquabats

Today's post is less about the song and more about the story of the celebration. In 1945, a farmer went out to get a chicken for dinner. He found a nice rooster and decided that was the one to eat. He swung his ax and decapitated it. Well, the rooster went back to pecking for food immediately. Apparently, the axe had chopped off most of the head, but had missed the jugular vein, left one ear and part of the brain, including the entire brain stem. The farmer, thinking this was weird, left the poor rooster to die overnight. In the morning, he walks out and the rooster is still alive, its head under its wing. So, the farmer decides that if the rooster wants to live that bad, he'll find a way to feed it. So the legend of Mike the Rooster is born.
Mike lived for 18 months, becoming a national phenomenon with a national tour. He went from being 2 lbs to 8 lbs being fed by an eyedropper. So the every 3rd weekend of May, in the town of Fruita, Colorado, the story of Mike the Headless Chicken is celebrated to commemorate the fact that, in fact, you do not need a mind to live, just will.
Find out more about Mike the Chicken Here
And our song, in keeping with Mike the Chicken, is "Magic Chicken" by the Aquabats. Enjoy:

Lyrics
I was born out back
Behind the chicken shack
I was raised in a cardboard box
And before when I was single
I used to hear the chicken jingle
That's how I learned the chicken rock
When I'm in the mood, dude
I get some nuggets and stuff
And head on down to the fights
I'm rolling in my wheelchair
Zipping down the hill
I'm screaming out "chicken"
In the middle of the night

[Chorus]
Ooh ooh, ooh ooh
Chicken makes me feel so good [x4]

When I first met my baby
I was sipping chicken gravy
And I thought I had to close up shop
(Weee pang!)
Now were wedding in a chapel
Eating chicken, drinking Snapple
Our chicken love you just can't stop
When I'm done a working
A sweating and a jerking,
And the bossman comes and tells me when
I'm going home to baby
Got my chicken, got my gravy
And we do the chicken dance again

[Chorus]

Do the popcorn chicken
(Do the popcorn chicken)
Do the K-F-C
(Do the K-F-C)
Do the buffalo wing
(Do the buffalo wing)
Do the pioneer
(Do the pioneer)
Can you dig it?
We got the chicken!
Cut it up, cut it up, cut it up
We got some chicken guts
In a chicken cup!

I'm a chicken ma-chine!!!
[x4]

Roscoe's
We got the chicken!
Goldenbasket
We got the chicken!
Popeye's
We got the chicken!
Pappy Parker's
We got the chicken!.

[Chorus]

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/a/aquabats/#share

Read more...

5/13/2010 - The Casimir Engine

There are those commercials about the guy working as a surgeon who makes a brilliant move, the nurse asks him about being a surgeon, and he replies that he isn't, but he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night, implying that the experience made him brilliant in fields he knew nothing about. I'm not sure if I feel the same way now after listening to this song, but I do feel... something. It may be a slight tickle, or a couple of brain cells dying, but hey, that's dementia music for you :)
This is The Casimir Engine, which consist of David (?) from the U.K with, "Holiday Inn Express". Enjoy:

Read more...