Wednesday, May 19, 2010

5/19/2010 - Brent Jowers

Ugly jokes can be funny. As long as they aren't too serious or against the ugly kid at school. Making fun of ugly kids is no fun. But this song is pretty good -- not too serious, not directed at a kid, so it's acceptable.
Brent Jowers is a 33 year old from Hianes City, Florida and has had some of his songs played on local radio stations in Jacksonville, Tampa and St. Louis -- where St. Louis came from, beats me.
This song is called, "Fuglyville" and is a parody of "Chain Hang Low". Hope you enjoy it.

This song is called Fuglyville. It's for all the people looking like they were a saber necked marsh badger in a previous life, but didn't complete the metamorphosis

You look like a scarecrow mated with a buffalo
Please don't stand near the light, or your fuglyness will glow
It looks like your shoulders threw up ugly casserole
Ooh your face is gross
Is that your face?

Catfish would even think that it is a disgrace
It hurts my eyes just like I sprayed my face with mace
Plus it could be a stunt double for your ace
Is that your face(repeat)

It's true that you are ugly
Head butt a moving truck, you would look more studly
And you are not Luke, and I am not your father
But you need Vader's mask, cause you look like Chewbacca
Face fubared like you bobbed for hot grits
And you need to get a grip on them chapped lips
Cause they're all cracked up, dry rotted and they're split
Get them right, treat them nice, and go get some Chap Stick
Man it seems that your lips are straight beat
They're all cracked up, just like some old concrete
So chapped and white, looking at them seems
Just like they are a stack of powdered Krispy Kremes


Verse 2
It's true that you are hoagly
You made a pit bull ball up like a rolly polly
Your mom puts your pictures in a tinted frame kid
They make you wear a ski mask when you're in the bank kid
You're looking scary to me
Plus your eyes are bugged out like a ferret on speed
And your skin I mean please
It's greasy and oily as truck stop grilled cheese
Your toofs are looking crude
Green, yellow, orange, red, blue, like a Rubik's Cube
And you need to buy cream
Cause your face is bumpy like Braille Chinese writing
Got a unibrow, Schick Tracer's what you're needing
Looks like a chipmunk is on your forehead sleeping
Call you bongo, looks like your face done took a beating
Every time you knock on someone's door, they think you're trick or treating

You know how they say ugly's a relative term
Well that's appropriate...
Because your relatives..
They're looking pretty beat down too.
Why don't you go burrow in the muck somewhere...
You're scaring the children...and the bunny rabbits...
That's just not right no matter how you cut it...
Now get out of public before an aardvark files a restraining order on you


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