Wednesday, March 31, 2010

3/31/10 - Owl City

Well, yesterday my kids went to the dentist. I hear it wasn't a great visit but it wasn't a "we're pulling all your teeth out" visit either. Normal visit. Wow. I've never really known my kids to be normal. Strange.
Coincidentally, a friend of mine from work let me listen to a CD he had that one of his friend gave him of Owl City. He said they sing strange songs that I would probably like. Well, the music is all electronic so it's ok. I haven't been able to catch many of the 'funny' lyrics except for one song -- which deals with dental care. Strange coincidence. I do like the line, "I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill." Double meanings are funny :)
So, here's Owl City with "Dental Care". Enjoy:

I brush my teeth
And look in the mirror
And laugh out loud
As I'm beaming from ear to ear

I'd rather pick flowers
Instead of fight
And rather than flaunt my style
I'd flash you a smile
Of clean pearly whites

I've been to the dentist
A thousand times, so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills

Have a seat
He says pleasantly
As he shakes my hand
And practically laughs at me

Open up nice and wide
He says, peering in
And with a smirk he says,
"Don't have a fit, this'll just pinch a bit"
As he tries not to grin

When hygienists leave on long vacations
That's when dentists scream and lose their patience

Talking only brings the toothaches on
Because I say the stupidest things
So if my resolve goes south
I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin
And shut my mouth

Golf and alcohol don't mix
And that's why I don't drink and drive
Because, good grief, I'd knock out my teeth
And hafta kiss my smile goodbye

I've been to the dentist
A thousand times, so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills


Tuesday, March 30, 2010

3/30/10 - Cal Stewart

I hope you like to be tickled.

Cal Stewart (1856-1919) was a pioneer in the recorded music business. He was hired by Thomas Edison to record new records. He had a recording persona known as "Uncle Josh Weathersby" and would start off his songs and speeches with a recognizable laugh. I guess the guy liked to laugh.

I have heard remakes of this song, usually changing the words to what he is tickled by but this is the original. It is called "Ticklish Reuben" and this is a recording from 1913. Prepare to have your funny bone tickled.


Monday, March 29, 2010

3/29/2010 - Rockenheier

'Tis a strange place to find a parody. Rockenheimer is Stephane Poirier from Yonkers, New York. He does play a pretty mean guitar listening to a few of his songs -- although I do think he may be misclassified on Soundclick.
Well, this song is a parody of "LarryBoy" by Veggietales. I've got a confession to make. I am a Veggiefreak. I started watching them back in 1996 at the ripe, young age of 22. I did a speech about Veggietales in my speech class in 1998 that was the highlight of the entire year for me. I know most of the early songs and can do a pretty good Larry the Cucumber impression. I've even taken a group of kids from church to see Veggietales Live and it was more for me than them. So I know Veggietales, just a little bit. Rockenheimer takes the hairband stylings of this song and makes them about his no hip-hop, rocking guitar ways. This is Rockenheimer with "Stephie Boy"! Rock over Chicago! Rock over London!


Sunday, March 28, 2010

3/28/10 - The Frantics

Another one of my favorites. This is Tae Kwon Leap. Again, not a song but fun stuff.

This one was recorded live in 2008 at a Black Belt Convention. Must have been called, Tae Con Leap! Enjoy. I do like what they did for the slo-mo addition :)


Saturday, March 27, 2010

3/27/10 - The Vestibules

I mentioned a couple of other people's favorite dementia songs of all time. I guess this could be considered one of mine. I have always been a fan of quick lyrics, quick wit and funny puns in the middle of songs because, well, I can't do it too well. My lazy tongue is my curse :)
Well, looking at it, this 'song' doesn't really have quick wit, fast lyrics but is full of fun. It is The Vestibules (formerly known as Radio Free Vestibule) and their skit, "Bulbous Bouffant". I was looking around for a version of this song to share and found this one done by a family at their annual lip sync contest. They do a great job lip syncing the skit. I hope you enjoy it.

1 Hi
2 Hello
1 Are you waiting for the bus?
2 Uh, yes I am, actually.
1 Hm...I notice you are not wearing any... goloshes.
2 Um, no I'm not.. It's, uh, sunny out. Uh, no need for golashes.
1 I'm wearing... goloshes.
2 Hm...
1 Goloshes.
2 uh huh.
1 Did you read the paper today?
2 Uh, no I didn't have the chance.
1 Did you read the thing about the Eskimos?
2 No.
1 Well, the article was saying that the Eskimos will eat the fat from the whale.
2 Oh, yeah.
1 Do you know what that's called?
2 Uh, no, I don't.
1 Blubber.
2 Ah, right.
1 Blubber!
2 Yeah... Blubber.
1 That's what it's called.
2 mm-hmm.
1 Blubber.
2 Right.
1 The Eskimos eat the blubber.
2 uh huh.
1 And the Blubber will come from different kinds of whales, you know.
2 Oh, yeah.
1 Sometimes it will come from a... Baluga whale!
2 uh huh.
1 Baloooga!
2 Right.
1 heh heh... They don't wear... goloshes.
2 Who? The whales?
1 No! The Eskimos.
2 Oh, no, that's right, they don't.
1 They wear Mocklocks!
2 Ah hah!
1 Mocklocks!
2 That's right... Mocklocks...
1 Mooockloooocks.
2 Yeah, mocklocks.
1 Say it again.
2 Mocklock
1 Say it louder.
1 Good, eh?
2 Yeah, it is a good one. I didn't wanna say it, but I like it.
1 Say say say Goloshes.
2 Goloshes.
1 It's good, eh?
2 Yeah, it's good.
1 Goloshes!
1 Balooga!
2 Balooga!
1 Blubberblubberblubber/2 Blubber/1 Mocklock/2 blubber...
3 Uh... Excuse me? Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt whatever it was you were doing there.
2 Uh. It's ok.
3 ok. I just wanted to know if this is where the bus stops.
2 Yeah! Yeah. It should be here any minute, actually.
3 Oh, I see. Sorry to disturb you.
2 It's ok. We were just, uh, ...
1 Sir?
3 Yes?
1 Psssst!
3 Yeah?
1 Look over there.
3 Across the street?
1 Yeah! Yeah. Yeah.
3 mm-hmm?
1 See that lady?
3 Yes?
1 What kind of hairstyle does she have?
3 Uh... that looks like a Bouffant.
1 Yes! A Bouffant.
3 Yes. A Bouffant.
2 Uh. Actually, I couldn't help, uh, noticing that myself. It's sort of what you might call a... Bulbous Bouffant.
3 Yes. A bulbous Bouffant.
1 Bulbous Bouffant.
3 Bouffant.
1 Blubber!
2 Golashes!
1 Mocklocks.
Bulbous Bouffant.
1 Mocklockmocklock
3 hmm. Macadamia.
1&2 OH!!!
3 Macadamia.
1 Gazeeboh!
2 Bulbous Bouffant!
3 Macadamia
1 Gazeeboooh!
2 Bulbous Bouffant.
3 Macadamia

... good luck with this part... heh heh...


2 ah! Here comes the bus...
3 Oh, yeah.
1 Good.


Friday, March 26, 2010

3/26/2010 - BiG Bad Earth

I do like Twitter because I usually get more worthless news there quicker than when I search around the internet for news sites. Especially when I look at the trending topics. I had no idea tomorrow is Earth Hour 2010 -- they want me to walk around in the dark at 8:30 pm tomorrow. Well, that may not be too hard since I will have the light from my computer on if I do it, but I may have to run to a sporting event or something where they have tons of lights on because playing baseball in the dark when the ball is traveling at you at 90 miles per hour is always a bad idea. It may save the earth by decreasing the surplus population (in the words of Scrooge.)
I say this because it is ironic that the song I found today is by a guy who calls himself, "BiG Bad Earth". BiG Bad Earth consists of 45 year old Steven Evanoff from Glen Ellyn, Illinois. Baseball is starting this weekend, I believe. By Monday, the Chicago Cubs will officially be eliminated from the Playoffs. This is what this song is about, "Diary of a Mad Cubs Fan." I hope you enjoy it:


Thursday, March 25, 2010

3/25/10 - Peter Cook and Dudley Moore

Another favorite today. Chris Mezzolesta, of Power Salad and Cirque du So What fame, said that one of his favorite songs is this one. It is "The L S Bumble Bee" by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore. In the 60's, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore had a show called, "Not Only... But Also" which was hugely successful in Brittan. The series lasted 3 seasons. After it ended, they tried again with another show called, "Goodbye Again" which did not do as well because Peter Cook struggled with alcoholism and spoke garbled many times, causing Dudley Moore to have to ad-lib. I'm sure it was still funny, but it just didn't work past 4 shows.

So, anyways, here's Peter Cook and Dudley Moore with, "The L S Bumble Bee":


Wednesday, March 24, 2010

3/24/10 - Tom Lehrer

I asked the other day what people's favorite dementia song was. This was Bad Kitty's favorite that is featured today.
One of the fathers of the modern dementia movement is Tom Lehrer. Someone I was talking to recently mentioned that most people were listening to Tom Lehrer before they realized who Tom Lehrer was because of his work on the Electric Company. My first song I heard of Lehrer, besides "L-Y" and "Silent E", was "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park." Macabre to the point of lunacy marks many of his songs, including Bad Kitty's favorite.
Here is her favorite, "I Holy Your Hand in Mine". Enjoy:

I hold your hand in mine, dear,
I press it to my lips.
I take a healthy bite
From your dainty fingertips.

My joy would be complete, dear,
If you were only here,
But still I keep your hand
As a precious souvenir.

The night you died I cut it off.
I really don't know why.
For now each time I kiss it
I get bloodstains on my tie.

I'm sorry now I killed you,
For our love was something fine,
And till they come to get me
I shall hold your hand in mine.


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

3/23/10 - Dustin Ah Kuoi

Since I am so late with this, I thought I should find a song about being late. So this is Dustin Ah Kuoi with, "It's Too Late For Biggie Fries", a parody of "It's Too Late to Apologize." Short, sweet. Here it is.


Monday, March 22, 2010

3/22/10 - Medemia

Today is International Talk Like... William Shatner... Day! Today... March 22... 2010... is the second annual... ITLWSD! Started in 2009 by... separately by Doug VanHorn... of Ohio and ... comedian... Maurice LaMarche. There was... a dispute... between the two of them who... came up with the idea... first... but realized that ... great minds do think... alike and decided to ... work together to create... a facebook fan page and... deem William Shatner's... birthday "International... Talk Like... William Shatner Day."
My period button is starting to malfunction. Sorry about... that. To celebrate "International Talk Like William Shatner Day" I submit my song about William Shatner being everywhere on TV and the movies, "Bill Shatner", A parody of "Shattered (Turn the Car Around)." This was the first song I did my own music for -- through Cakewalk Music Studio's fret bar and a looped drum beat. And it is still one of my favorite.
So, here's "Bill Shatner" by me. Enjoy :)

Happy 79th birthday William Shatner!

I get home, had a long day
Need a time to veg
Another time, another show
Another channel now
And you're always on my screen

The Practice, on tonight
Rescue 9-1-1
Star Trek on in High-Def?
There's no more I need
But you're always on my screen

But shows suck without ya
Yeah, no good without you
James Tiberius Kirk

How many shows must I watch with Bill Shatner?
From his first time to Priceline, he's much fatter
I always turn the t.v. on
From Wrath of Khan and beyond he's the actor
That should retire but he won't -- he's Bill Shatner
I always turn my t.v. on

I had no idea that your films
Would last all night long
Rent them all, seen them all
Even Incubus
And Osmosis Jones

But flicks stink without ya
Yeah, no good without you
Den -- ny -- Crane

How many shows must I watch with Bill Shatner?
On the Match Game, star of fame, critics scatter
I always turn the t.v. on
Final Frontier I do fear he's the actor
That shouldn't write or direct -- he's Bill Shatner
I always turn my t.v. on

How many shows must I watch with Bill Shatner?
Like a possum, a blossomed, over actor
I always turn the t.v. on
The cameos, legend grows, Muppets Tonight
From Space Cadets, Iron Chef, it's my delight
I always turn the t.v. on

How many shows can I watch with Bill Shatner?
Never enough, he's so tough, fav'rite actor
I always turn my t.v. on
TV Game Shows, he did host, Show the money
With dancing girls, killer cards, not too funny
I always turn the t.v. on

How many shows must I watch with Bill Shatner?
Like a possum, a blossomed, over actor
I always turn the t.v. on


Sunday, March 21, 2010

3/21/10 - Nodak89

The tournament continues. I don't remember this many big upsets in the NCAA tournament in a long, long, long time. Maybe ever. My bracket is completely busted, with two of my final four teams out and the other two playing today, so I could be completely out by the end of the day :)
One of the huge upsets, the biggest according to the numbers, of round one was #3 Georgetown losing to #14 Ohio. Georgetown just got outplayed in every way. What was worse was that their former coach, John Thompson, was a courtside as a color commentator. That must have been hard to not go ballistic on the air. Georgetown's starting guard is Austin Freeman, a junior who is really starting to come into his own. He had a mediocre game against Ohio, but should be a good leader next year for the Hoyas. Well, nodak89 wrote this song about Austin Freeman. It is a parody of Tom Petty and the Heartbreaks, "Free Falling" called, "I am Free". Sorry for your heartache this weekend nodak89, but I hope being chosen as song of the day helps you heal quickly. Probably not.

Here's nodak89 with "I Am Free":


Saturday, March 20, 2010

3/20/10 - Paul and Storm

Back to the NCAA tournament. A little bit of history. In 2006, a small college in DC took the basketball loving world on a Cinderella story. It beat perennial powerhouse Michigan State in the first round, then another powerhouse, North Carolina, in the second. In the third 11th seed George Mason beat Wichita State, another Cinderella, and finally had to face off against #1 seed Connecticut, the favorite of the tournament to win the whole thing.
Well, I will let Paul and Storm explain what happened in that game. Here's Paul and Storm with their song, "George Mason":

Yes, the song is actually bleeped.

To keep with the Cinderella thing, let me say, GO OHIO! I usually hate you but I love underdogs :)

In old Philadelphia, the Founding Fathers met
Because our country didn’t have a Constitution yet
Many of the framers would go on to greater fame
One was a Virginian; Mason was his name

In Seventeen and Ninety-One, George Mason led the fight
That led to the adoption of our nation’s Bill of Rights
They named a college after himin 1972
And they beat UConn on Sunday and ****ed me in the pool

**** George Mason
**** George Mason
**** him and the horse that drove him in

He fought for the assertion of the common rights of Man
But the ****ers won the game, and now I’m almost out a grand
He may have been a patriot, a hero from the past
But if I ever see him, I’ll kick his ****ing ass

**** George Mason
**** George Mason
**** him and the horse that drove him in


Friday, March 19, 2010

3/19/10 - Steve Bryant

This is a funny guy. Well, baseball season is right around the corner and Los Angeles is about to go crazy for Mannywood again. Well, last year, Manny took on a new persona as one of the the few, the shamed, the pregnant, the dope users with the likes of Mark McGuire and A-Rod. I did a song about Manny being pregnant (one of my first) while Steve Bryant takes the drug use route.
This song is called "Manny" and is a parody of Barry Manilow's "Mandy". Seems pretty straight forward. By this point, Manny should have a 3 month old keeping him up at night while he breastfeeds. I wonder if he checks the baby in as carry on or under the plane luggage on road trips.
Again, "Manny" by Steve Bryant. Enjoy:

I remember every game,
You’d forget just why you came.
Falling as you run,
Stumbling ‘round the bases.
Not running out ground balls,
And other disgraces.

Everyone knows you can play,
You had problems everyday.
Fighting with your team, a pain in the fanny
Everyone said, it’s Manny being Manny

Oh Manny,
I wonder what drugs you were takin’?
Now they sent you away.
Oh Manny
All the money that you won’t be makin’
A third of your pay.
Oh, Manny.

Looks like you’ve run out of time.
Your legacy has turned to slime
All of your homers
A drug fueled facade,
Your fans are heartbroken,
You’re just like A-Rod

Oh Manny,
Well, you took PEDs without sayin'
Now they' sent you away, Oh Manny.
2 months before you can start playin’,
You’ve become a cliché. Oh Manny

Looks like they got you.
And they got you good.
Were you taking those drugs,
To restart your manhood?

Oh Manny,
I wonder what drugs you were takin’?
Now they sent you away.
Oh Manny
All the money that you won’t be makin’
A third of your pay.
Oh, Manny.

Oh Manny,
Well, you took PEDs without sayin'
Now they sent you away, Oh Manny.
2 months before you can start playin’,
You’re a cliché.


Thursday, March 18, 2010

3/18/10 - MadTV

It is pretty hard to find a sports-related dementia song as most dementia artists really don't care about sports. I guess I'm an anomaly. I think today is the beginning of the greatest tournament every year. Sure, I don't call off of work like a lot of guys do (Hooters will give you a doctor's note if you miss work today) but you can make sure that I will have it playing in the background at my desk :)

And you can bet that across 64 locker rooms today that scenes like this are happening. There is a short song in this skit, but this is a skit that needs to be seen the first day of March Madness. It is about the superstitions that sports athletes have in general and the silly things they do to keep them - like Wade Boggs eating a whole chicken before each game and guys who wear the same socks and underwear throughout a tournament/series. This skit is labeled, "Basketball Song" but I would probably call it something like "Superstitious March Madness". I hope you enjoy. And if you need some kind of Scandinavian subtitles, they are there!


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

3/17/10 - Brobdingnagian Bards

Yesterday I featured Marc Gunn. Today, it is his group, the Brobdingnagian Bards. This group is made up of Andrew McKee and Marc Gunn playing such traditional Irish instruments as the mandolin, recorder, and of course, the autoharp. Of course, from yesterday's song, those who complain about the non-traditional instruments end up joining in on the fun too.
This song is a traditional Irish song about a boy born whose mother was Catholic and whose father was Protestant and the fun that happened after that. It is called, "The Orange and the Green". Hope you enjoy it and Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Oh, and happy birthday to Marc Gunn too. No wonder he likes St. Patrick's day so much.

Oh, it is the biggest mix-up that you have ever seen.
My father, he was Orange and me mother, she was green.

My father was an Ulster man, proud Protestant was he.
My mother was a Catholic girl, from county Cork was she.
They were married in two churches, lived happily enough,
Until the day that I was born and things got rather tough.

Baptized by Father Riley, I was rushed away by car,
To be made a little Orangeman, my father's shining star.
I was christened "David Anthony," but still, inspite of that,
To me father, I was William, while my mother called me Pat.

With Mother every Sunday, to Mass I'd proudly stroll.
Then after that, the Orange lodge would try to save my soul.
For both sides tried to claim me, but i was smart because
I'd play the flute or play the harp, depending where I was.

Now when I'd sing those rebel songs, much to me mother's joy,
Me father would jump up and say, "Look here would you me boy.
That's quite enough of that lot", he'd then toss me a coin
And he'd have me sing the Orange Flute or the Heros of The Boyne

One day me Ma's relations came round to visit me.
Just as my father's kinfolk were all sitting down to tea.
We tried to smooth things over, but they all began to fight.
And me, being strictly neutral, I bashed everyone in sight.

My parents never could agree about my type of school.
My learning was all done at home, that's why I'm such a fool.
They've both passed on, God rest 'em, but left me caught between
That awful color problem of the Orange and the Green.


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

3/16/10 - Marc Gunn

Since tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, I'll go ahead and start early with the Marc Gunn. Marc Gunn is the cat-loving, autoharp playing, Irish kilt wearing comedy musician from the FuMP and the Brobdingnagian Bards. He actually has a really good "About me" on his Soundclick page (Marc Gunn's Soundclick Page). It is much more extensive than his FuMP profile.

Well, this song was never featured on the FuMP, so that is a good thing. Hopefully it is new to you. This song is about people who complain at Marc Gunn for not being Celtic enough and playing the Autoharp instead of some traditional Irish instrument. Interesting rebuttal. It's called, "Leprechaun". Enjoy:

There's a Leprechaun in me head, and I wish that I were dead
For I don't think he'll e'er let me be.
Oh, he tempts me with his gold, and if I were e'er so bold,
I'd strangle him and leave him in the street.

Well, he says to me, "Ah, you're no Irish Laddie!
And ye call that thing a harp?"
But each time I share the lore that I am learning.
He hides in shame while my friends they chant.

La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai
La ta tee, da diddley dee, la ta tee ta tee da
La ta tee, da diddley diddley dai

There's a leprechaun in my room. He swats me with a broom.
That's the reason I forget the words of this song.
Well, he shows me a four-leaf clover, and before me song is over,
It's buried in a bowl of Lucky Charms.

Ther'es a leprechaun on the floor, and he says that I'm a bore.
He yawns aloud as I sing my song.
He feigns one last breathe stolen, but I see his eyes are open.
And he's watching me with envy deep inside.

There's a leprechaun on a hill, and his gold is buried there.
So I grab him by the neck 'fore he gets away.
The pot's too heavy, he giggles, so I pinch me just a little,
And he thinks he's fooled me as I run away.


Monday, March 15, 2010

3/15/10 - Carrie Dahlby

Beware the ides of March! Today was really hard waking up, with yesterday being time change day. Last night, though, I realized around 11pm that my kids had no problem going to sleep at their normal time, which meant that they would be up an hour early! AHHHH!!! They did get up about 7:00 am, which is about the right time. No problems for them but I am walking around saying "Brains" and limping since I'm still sore from umpiring on Saturday.

To satisfy my zombie tendencies, today's song is by Carrie Dahlby, "Sleep Walking Zombies." This is a double-whammy song since today I have to go in to perform the take-home sleep apnea test. Exciting. Well, if I feel less like a sleep walking zombie in the morning soon, I can breath like Darth Vader at night.

So here's Carrie Dahlby with "Sleep Walking Zombies". Enjoy :)


No! I wanna stay up all night like you!

Tell me another story! I don't wanna sleep!


Okay then! Everybody wake up!


Eh, I'm goin' back to bed. Who's with me on this?


Somebody, please, give us more time to sleep!
You're all sleep walking zombies!

CARRIE (verse 1):

There's no sleepwalk I won't try
No lack of sleep too high
No zombie that I can't out zombify
What do I gotta do to get through to you
To show you there ain't nothin' I can't zombie sleepwalk through?
Every lost hour of sweet sleep
Is called "sleep debt" and it can make a zombie out of me
And out of you, feelin' like you be on
Auto-pilot every dang day, but it can't kill you.
I'm out of fuel, I feel like lyin' my butt down.
Sleep debt's about as fun as a chastity vow.


True, that.


So tell Oprah to get out of the bookshop
Because I need advice on how to stop feeling coin-opped
And fight sleep deprivation with gloves off.
Harry Potter and the Sleep Eaters need to get cast off!
When will I sleep? When will the madness please stop?
Erin, tell 'em sweetie...



CARRIE (chorus):

I have no need to eat your brains but this aches and pains me


You're all sleep walking zombies!


A little help from Erin Jane, tell 'em little lady


You're all sleep walking zombies!


I need something that can sustain me or I'll insane be


You're all sleep walking zombies!


There's nothing on earth that can save me, not even caffeine


You're all sleep walking zombies!

CARRIE (verse 2):

It's like my teacher always told me:
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa .... you stupid little brats
If you sleep through my class I will credit you for nothin'!
My bad, I snoozed, feel real dazed and woozed
Like drivin' cruise and lose a thousand rapid eye movements per second
I'd rather set the world's highest nap length record
I'd rather be a Sleepy seven dwarf, stand sleepin'
And have sleepy crud stuck to my face with a sleep aid in my nose
I wake with a fire hose, sleepin' hours 3 or 4
Can't you see why we're so beat? Let yer alarm clock go,
improve your scenario.
You wouldn't have to go eenie meenie minie mo
Catch a zombie by his toe. Call us the Coma Corps.
Can't my job just pay me to SLEEP a little more?


CARRIE (bridge):

Sleep debt can make you cry, make you wanna die
And at the same time, make yer eyes real dry and stupified
See what we got is a nation overworked
But it's not always work
Cuz exhaustion's got workplace production reversed
But when I do sleep, I don't count sheep
I'm sleeping deep BEFORE my head hits the pillow
C'mon! Hello! I'm WAY too tired to know the insomnia woe!
Sleepwalk to work, come home, and back to work I go
And walk around my life with a Zombiac glow.
I could wander onstage and not even know!
Like Britney Spears does whenever she performs!
Feel dead inside of my head,
wish I was a little girl inside of her bed
After the story's read, with Care Bears bedspread
Need some deep sleep under my sheets and I do not count the threads
And that's pretty much the gist of it
Kids'll resist but even kids love it.
I lack dreamin', extreme in sleep debt, steamin' head, body screamin'.
I'll have my own kids! Then I'll have time to get more sleep in!



Zombies. Zombies.


Wake up Carrie! ERIN: Wake up Carrie!


Sunday, March 14, 2010

3/14/10 - Pi Diddy

Happy Pi Day! 3.14... ok, that's as far as it goes today. Although there is a group on Facebook that is set on celebrating Pi day on 3/14/15 at 9:26:53... that's as far as it goes.

To celebrate the never-ending number Pi comes this song about learning the number Pi. It is a parody of Lose Yourself by Eminem called, "Lose Yourself (in the Digits). Go have an irrational day!


Saturday, March 13, 2010

3/13/10 - Max DeGroot

It's been a month. Really it has. Alright, it's almost a month since I featured Max DeGroot. I tell you, I really like the stuff he does. I wish I was as talented as this guy.

Max DeGroot, or more appropriately, Dipper has done a cover of a Throwing Toaster's song. The song is "Bad Influence." Is this song in the character of Max DeGroot. Probably not, but it fits perfectly for Dipper. So, here's "Bad Influence":


Friday, March 12, 2010

3/12/10 - The Global Warming Extravaganza

More robots! We must have more robots! Too bad there are no ninjas, pirates and zombies in this one though. Or bacon.

The Global Warming Extravaganza is a two-person metal band from Tallahassee, Florida. Since I am still siphoning bandwidth from my neighbor (stupid AT&T - fix it already!), I'll make this short. This song is called, "Robot Shred Off" and is about the unlikely alliance formed through metal music of robot guitar players. I hope you enjoy it.

Initiate riff

I'm a lonely robot
All I want is a friend

I am the best guitar playing robot in the galaxy
Feeble outdated robot, I've been programmed to shred and have been sent here by my HU-MAN
creator to replace you! I challenge you to a shred-off and the loser will be sold for SCRAPS!

I accept your challenge Bap ba da baaa

Look at you shredding with your two arms like a HU-MAN I will use FOUR

I think you should check your oil, you sound a little rusty

Is your CPU capabe of computing this advanced shredding Beep boop bap

My robot grandmother shreds faster than that aaahahahaha

HU-MAN Eddie Van Halen tapped like that long before the robot invasion of earth!

If we join forces we can defeat the remaining HU-MANS

Disengage Me-tal riff


Thursday, March 11, 2010

3/11/10 - Incompetencia

None of this is my fault. I had nothing to do with this. It was all the fault of the invisible ninjas who had taken over my brain and made me recommend this song by Incompetencia, then go out and kick the neighbor's dog while picking clean his orange tree. Don't look at me. Stupid invisible ninjas! They're gonna get me in trouble for stealing my neighbor's internet while my connection is down!


Step out the front door
Ready to take on the day
Fall on the sidewalk
Brush off the dust and get ready for work
Drive and get in an accident
It’s a brand-new day
With a set of brand-new things
You will forget to do
Find yourself stuck in the same routine
Stuck in the same routine,
stuck in the same routine
It’s so confusing as you look around
At all the possibilities this day had
And you had to choose the one that was the worst, yeah
You spot the perfect excuse for the day
And every day before it
You should have thought of it before
But now that you have it it’s

Invisible ninjas From outer space
Look at them all over the place
Except you can’t see them
Run away, run away, run away

You know that they’re all out to get you
So make the best of a bad situation
Do whatever you want the entire day,
the Invisible ninjas will pay all the bills
Step out the front door
Kill your neighbor’s cat
It’s as simple as that
It isn’t your fault
The invisible ninjas made your brain malfunction
Was that cat really attacked by…

Invisible ninjas From outer space
Look at them all over the place
Except you can’t see them
Run away, run away, run away

Hold the president hostage and ask for rare metals
Like platinum, silver, or gold
They’re for the invisible ninjas’ spaceships (yeah right)
Step out the front door
Sell bling to the college kids
For the highest bid 22 million dollars
Pay the invisible ninjas to go away
Now that you’re free what will you do
Maybe move to a desert island in the south Pacific
Host your own TV show
Or any number of things you could do
Hire mercenaries to kill Paris Hilton, Zac Efron, Kevin Federline Mark Sanford, Osama bin Laden, and Michael Jack- oh wait
It’s so confusing as you look around
At the thousands of possibilities this day had
And you had to choose the one that was the best
And it’s all because of the invisible ninjas
Step out the front door
Get ambushed by Secret Service
Fifty guns pointed at you
You throw up your hands
You ask what they want today
Seems they have nothing to say
You slowly back up
Turn as if to go inside
Since you have nothing to hide
The invisible ninjas took everything
So all you have is everything
The last thing you see
Is somebody blocking the door
You don’t know what he’s there for
Before you black out
You see the ninjas over there and you wonder

Invisible ninjas From outer space
Look at them all over the place
Except you can’t see them


Wednesday, March 10, 2010

3/10/10 - Curmudgeon Boy

More songs about the economy. Isn't that cheerful. I guess if you can't keep your sense of humor through utter and complete destitution, then when can you laugh?
Curmudgeon Boy is 41 year old Doug from New York, New York - so nice, they had to repeat it twice so deaf people could know they should stay away too. He is a political humorist (although from initial viewing, he does look like he's on the opposite side of the spectrum from me. Doesn't mean I can't enjoy his humor :)) This song is called, "Supply Side Serenade". Hope you enjoy:

I'm broke. I'm busted.
All I had combusted.
Dividends are moot
Got no golden parachute
Since I'm not too big to fail
There's no one left to bail me out
I bear the onus
For your tax-payer funded bonus.

I'm broke. Hocked my guitar.
Soon be living in my car
You might think it tactless
Shoulda put it in a mattress
Since I lost my pension
Wracked with apprehension
Something's smelling rank
Since we bought up all the banks.

Uncle Milti, why'd you deceive me?
My depression will be going on for years
Uncle Milt, Milti Friedman
All that's trickling down are my tears, my tears.

I'm busted. I'm broke.
It all went up in smoke.
Thanks to credit default swaps
Now I push a mop
Once was at the summit
Before it all did plummet
Deregulations fine
Buddy please spare me a dime.

Uncle Milti, why'd you deceive me?
My depression will be going on for years
Uncle Milt, Milti Friedman
All that's trickling down are my tears, my tears.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

3/9/10 - Stucco Lobster Breadbox

With all the emphasis on robots, ninjas, and zombies is movies and TV today, this short song should be a hit. All they missed was pirates.
Stucco Lobster Breadbox is made up of Jeremy and Jon from Newark, Delaware. I wonder if that is any better of a place than Newark, NJ. I'm guessing by the fact that it isn't in New Jersey, it's better.
This song is called, "Robot Ninja Zombie Bear" and is a short ditty of what to avoid while visiting SouthWest Alaska. Apparently you have to go looking for it because no one lives out in SouthWest Alaska. :) Enjoy:


Monday, March 8, 2010

3/8/10 - Roger John

It seems like we have been in this recession since I bought my house. The value of my house at least tells me we have. Fortunately, I have been able to keep a job. In fact, next week will be 2 years at the same job, which is a pretty long time for me as I have always tried to promote up and out of the company. I should start looking to promote within the company. I think they'd have a harder time exporting my job to Mexico or China.

Roger John is a 56 year old from Hamilton, Canada. He writes this song about outsourcing. It seems every phone call I have to make is picked up by John or Nancy from India. Toys I have collected are made in China. Not many things left from the US or Canada. This song is called, "I'm Sold and Going to China". Enjoy:


Sunday, March 7, 2010

3/7/10 - Rich Plunk

Again, there must be something in the water in Ohio. Richard Plunk, who apparently goes by Dick Plunk but soundclick probably has an anti-profanity filter in the group name field, is from Powell, Ohio.

This song is called, "All Greek to Me" and chronicles his meeting of a pretty girl at a coffee shop where she doesn't speak the language. The hook caught me just the right way :)



Saturday, March 6, 2010

3/6/10 - DJ Particle

I don't think I've ever talked about DJ Particle before on this blog, but let me say that I appreciate her beyond words. She is the host of two shows which are featured on the Mad Music Archive, "Revenge of the Particle" and "The Mad Music Dementia Top 20." I truly believe that without her, no one would have ever heard my music at all and if they did, they'd dismiss it as the bad singing comedy fail that I fear I would be. I'm glad I get to chat with her occasionally on IRC and sometimes even on Skype during Revenge of the Particle. What she does for the Dementia community is invaluable and what Tak puts up with for the Dementia community is well appreciated too :)

Saying that, she also makes music (as well as being a real DJ.) One of my favorite songs of hers up to this point has been, "Goodbye Bill" which tells the story of Kill Bill to the music of the Dixie Chicks' "Goodbye Earl". I must say though, I may have a new favorite DJ Particle song now. Today she released a new song of the FuMP sideshow which chronicles the plight of the parody community with major record labels over the last few years called, "Fair Use". It is an original song, her 5th original, and she rocks the house. So here is DJ Particle with, "Fair Use":

Lyrics and music ©2010 Emi M. Briet

It all started back in '94
Supreme Court decision opened up the door
"Roy Orbison parodied by 2 Live Crew
Is a protected criticism", thus said the rule

Fast-forward to the present, now pop is bland
With dance divas, hip-hoppers, and boy and girl bands
Scapegoats were needed 'cause they can't admit
That their current crop of music mostly sounds like HEY!
'Weird Al' was their test, would they let him critique
With his parody song about nerds and geeks
The artist said yes, the label said no
So the song can't be bought, just free download

Song parodies are on the go
While the fatcats wanna try and stop the show
It's all fair use but they don't want you to know
Song parodies are hot today
The industry wants 'em all to go away
It's all fair use, so they don't have a say

Attend the tale of BA Dave
ASCAP emailed and what they had to say
Was "parody is free but the backing beats
Are owned by the ones who wrote it on the sheets"
Still wrong, ASCAP, 'cause of this objective
Instrumentals can be parodied! Still protected!
But you have cash, Dave not so much
So he had to bow down to your illegal crush

Song parodies make the case
For every one taken down, five take its place
It's all fair use, they should end the chase
Song parodies are here to stay
Despite numerous threats by the RIAA
It's all fair use, so transform away

Hey RIAA, are you aware that if not for parody, I'd have never heard Lady Gaga's music? Thanks to a parody by Spaff and the Moneyshot Cosmonauts, I now count myself as a 'Little Monster'. The fact that you can't see this positive effect on your sales is criminal!

Got another tale from Peter C
His words mocked the source of the parody
But Warner Music swung the banhammer 'round
And a three-strikes rule took his YouTube down
But Google was smart when he appealed his case
Had his site back up in just a few days
But a movement started from the online fame
Team Coffin, Boo Warner, come and join the gang!

Song parodies are on the go
While the fatcats wanna try and stop the show
It's all fair use but they don't want you to know
Song parodies are hot today
The industry wants 'em all to go away
It's all fair use, so they don't have a say

Song parodies make the case
For every one taken down, five take its place
It's all fair use, they should end the chase
Song parodies are here to stay
Despite numerous threats by the RIAA
It's all fair use, so transform away

You call us scum, call us infringing
You call us pirates, more of the same
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!

You call us scum, call us infringing
You call us pirates, more of the same
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!

You call us scum, call us infringing
You call us pirates, more of the same
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!

You call us scum, call us infringing
You call us pirates, more of the same
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!
Don't be so lame! Don't be so lame!


Friday, March 5, 2010

3/5/10 - Feng Shui Ninjas

Today in China is "Learn from Lei Feng Day", a communist propaganda day telling of the virtues of young Lei Feng, his patience, his love of the people and the love he had of Chairman Mao and the Communist Party. Most people think his diary was a propaganda work of fiction to create a young hero for Chinese Communism. But it worked.
So, in celebration of the first day of MarsCon, a convention in Bloomington, Minnesota where a huge part of the Dementia community go to celebrate the unofficial Dementia convention, I do declare today to be "Learn from the Feng Shui Ninjas Day." Here is their song, "Writing a Book". There is a version of this song on the 2010 MarsCon Fundraiser CD, available at but this version is from Convergence 2009. Enjoy:

Find the Feng Shui Ninjas at and learn from them!


Thursday, March 4, 2010

3/4/10 - Medemia

I recently saw a story about the Lamar Advertising agency (if you ever pay attention to billboards, their name is on the bottom of half of them) deciding to not put the original advertisement for Avenue Q up on bus stop posters in Colorado Springs. Colorado Springs is the headquarters for both the Air Force Academy and Focus on the Family. Not wanting to offend the locals, they decided that it would be best not to have a close-up of puppet cleavage gracing these advertisements and changed it to one of the faces of another Avenue Q puppet. Smart advertisement agency in my opinion knowing the local fan base.
But this got me thinking about a reason why puppet cleavage may be offensive. Sure, it is a representation of the sexualization of our children, since puppets are only for kids (huh?) But more importantly, it feeds the hunger that some have for puppets deep down in places they don't want to talk about. This song is called, "Puppet Love". All the voices are done by me -- my puppet voice repertoire. I'd like to thank Dave AuJus from the Mad Music Archive for giving me some tips on how to make it sound better -- I am very happy with the puppet voices. Now to work on the normal one :)

So, "Puppet Love" by... Me.

Puppet love
Want me some brown felt Or feathers Or fur
Wear low cut blouses But don’t need a skirt

Puppet love
Oh I don’t know
Why I must stare
It’s your button nose
Or your yarn hair
No legs in sight
No puppet thongs
That I can find

(Chorus set) Blue

Oh I can’t wait
This much is true
To get my hand
Inside of you
I’ll move your mouth
Must keep lip synch
Don’t get it wrong

(Chorus Set) Pink

Puppet Love
Puppet Love
Puppet Love
Looking for Prairie Or Piggy Or Orm

Some Zoe Some Cindy

Don’t even bother
To tell my mom
This is my love
My dream
Control you forever
When I maneuver
Your arm rods

Puppet love
Want me some green felt Or feathers Or fur
Puppet Love
Wear low cut blouses But don’t need a skirt

Gimme some Cookie Some Ernie Some Fozzie
Puppet Love
Give me some Abby Gnu Gary Roary
Give me some Maddie Dilly Dally Harvey
Give me some Gracie Some Whizzy Some Bert
Some Henrietta, Some Big Bird, Some Bert
Some Howdie Doodie, Some Oscar, Some Bert
Puppet Love


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

3/3/2010 - Derwood Bowen

Ive-ay ever-nay een-bay able-ay o-tay understand-ay ig-Pig atin-Lay. Yeah. That gets annoying.
I remember taking high school Spanish and how they said that poetry was easier in Spanish because of the common endings on verbs and so many nouns ending alike, unlike English where you actually have to think :p Well, thanks to Derwood Bowen, we no longer have to think to write poetry. So far, I've been able to decipher the first line, "It's easy to rap in Pig Latin because every word rhymes." I guess it's not thanks to him, but he gives us an example.
This song is called, "AP-Ray", which sounds like a dangerous weapon of higher instruction until you realize that it is in Pig Latin also, making it, "Rap". I can't find the lyrics though, so Ood-gay Uck-Lay :)


Tuesday, March 2, 2010

3/2/2010 - Dr. Seuss

Happy birthday Dr. Seuss. If it wasn't for you, we'd still be learning to read with Lad the Dog and Dick and Jane running. Now we can learn from trains and rain, butter on the wrong side of toast, Thing 1 and Thing 2, and 500 crazy hats.
To celebrate the life of this remarkably silly guy, here's "The Sneetches Marshmallow Song".

You thought I'd go for something common, huh? (I couldn't find 500 Hats by Tom Smith).


Monday, March 1, 2010

3/1/10 - Twisted Tom

Have you ever seen the Nextel commercial where the lumberjack is the judge of the divorce court and he orders that both sides get half? Well, Twisted Tom must have seen the commercial back in 1996 when he wrote this song.

Twisted Tom is 55 year old Tom Cornett from Pikau, Ohio. There must be something in the water in Ohio. He writes comedy songs, along with rock, country and folk. Quite versatile. Well, Tom describes the events that lead up to the equal splitting of everything in the estate during the divorce in this song called, "Catasstrophy"... heh... the name is funnier than I though originally.




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