12/22/09 - Anita Dobson

Well, this is a weird one.

Anita Dobson had this as the reverse side of her 1988 "I Dream of Christmas" release. I guess this is the same song done with some additional comments that makes it, "Silly Christmas." Interesting to say the least. Some of it is funny, some of it reaches but it really is silly, especially if it's the original artist making fun of her own stuff.

So, "A Silly Christmas" by Anita Dobson:



Lyrics
I sit alone by the fireside, it's hot, ha
And watch the old year passing by, it's gone now
Down the street they're singing party songs, and they never invite me, they stink
Christmas always makes me cry

I dream of Christmas
I dream of Christmas
Maybe my dreams will come true
I dream of Christmas
A merry Christmas
I dream of Christmas and you

And so tonight my thoughts are reaching out
Though you're a million miles away, and you never come to visit me
My dream is strong enough to see me through, I'm in the choir at school
Our love's forever and a day and a million miles

I dream of Christmas, I dream of Christmas
I dream of Christmas, do you like Christmas
Maybe my dreams will come true, they might come true, if I'm good
I dream of Christmas
A merry Christmas
I dream of Christmas and Santa Claus and you and mummy and daddy and my friends and everybody in the whole wide world

My brother he's written a letter to Santa Claus
And he says that if he don't get his bike this year
He's never speaking to him again
And he's gonna go round the estate
And he's gonna let down everybody's tyres on all their bikes
So that no-one can ride at all, he's mean ain't he?
But I like him - he's twelve and a half

Because I dream of Christmas
I dream of Christmas
Maybe my dream will come true
I dream of Christmas
I dream of Christmas
Maybe my dreams will come true

Sing with me now
I dream of Christmas, and Easter as well
I dream of Christmas, 'cos I like chocolate, do you?
Maybe my dreams will come true, it makes me sick as a dog
But I like Christmas better, because you get more presents at Christmas (I dream of Christmas)
Don't you, than you do at Easter (a merry Christmas)
More big ones, then you can swap them with the girl next door (I dream of Christmas and you), it's a good game isn't it

I dream of Christmas and you

I like swapping things with my girl friend
I asked her if she wanted to swap her dress once, and she said no, 'cos she never had any knickers on
I'm getting fed up now, I think I wanna go to the toilet
Oh, by the way, do you know Santa Claus's address?
'Cos when my brother sent a letter, my dad found it on the mat the next morning saying it never even got there
Honestly - the postmen round here, they're really, really terrible
So post it yourself, ay, or better still, why don't you take it, then give it to him
My mum says that to my dad, why don't you give it to him?
I think she's being dirty

Bye then, I 'spose I better go
Come round my house again
I think you're ever so nice
What's your name, go on, tell me
I better go, my mum's looking for me and I ain't done my homework yet

I got an apple in my bag, do you want it?
It's got a maggot in it, but I'm trying to grow maggots
'Cos this bloke at school, he says that if you get a lot of maggots and put them together they breed
And they make a lot of other maggots
And then it gets all gunky and sticky
And they all, if you give it to your mum and stick 'em in her hands, she screams
I like doing things like that, I'd 'spect it's 'cos of my brother, really
'Cos he's horrible, he's got spots 'un all
He picks 'em - it's nasty, isn't it, they go all over his face
He had chicken pox last time, and they all went into scabs
I saw him eating one once
It made me ever so sick, and my mum hit him
She's always hitting him
She says he's a right old so and so, he is and all
He really, really is terrible
Do you know what he did the other day? Shall I tell you?
We've got this hamster see
And he took it out of the cage in his hands

Merry Christmas everybody
Merry Christmas