12/31/09 - Moneyshot Cosmonauts

Living in the Los Angeles area, the talk of the town for a couple of months was Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez, or Nadya Suleman -- better known as Octomom. She was all over TMZ, the radio, people talking about her at work, at lunch breaks, in fast food restaurants. You could barely go anywhere without hearing about the mom who had 8 kids. Then, when more details came out about her crazy circumstances, it became even bigger, almost circus-like. It was the proverbial train wreck you couldn't take your eyes off of.

Enter Spaff.com and the Moneyshot Cosmonauts parodying Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". Sure, there have been quite a few Poker Face parodies, but this one is the granddaddy... or should I say surrogate mommy, of them all. The production value of this song is on par with the original in every way. In fact, played back to back, you would think Lady Gaga went off her rocker in the second half of the song. Then, the lyrics hit you. I'll post the entirety of the lyrics below, but lines like this make this song genius:

I like in vitro when you give it to me rough (Ooh!)
And Dick Van Patten lied 'cause eight is not enough (That bugger)
When I feed two at once I start to miss the rest
So now my plastic surgeon's gonna give me six more breasts (Yes!)

and:

So I'm the hostess with the mostest cell meiosis, and my closest diagnosis is eight doses of psychosis - holy Moses!

So here is my #1 favorite song of 2009 - Moneyshot Cosmonauts with, "Pr-Pr-Pr-Procreate":



There's a bunch of us jokers who try to write parody songs and then there is Spaff.com - the king of jokers.

Lyrics:
I met a sadist doctor of fertility (Whee!)
Said I wanna grow a jungle from my family tree (I want it)
He said quadruplet sets are buy one, get one free
And punched my one-way ticket to reality TV

O-o-o-ocho, o-o-o-o-ocho
Why stop at one? Octuple your fun!
O-o-o-ocho, o-o-o-o-ocho
Hey look I've got - a whole football squad!

Can't stop my X and Y
So just stand by while I procreate
She's tryin' multiplyin'
Can't stop my mommy drive
So just take five while I procreate
She's lovin' reproduction

Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama

I like in vitro when you give it to me rough (Ooh!)
And Dick Van Patten lied 'cause eight is not enough (That bugger)
When I feed two at once I start to miss the rest
So now my plastic surgeon's gonna give me six more breasts (Yes!)

O-o-o-ocho, o-o-o-o-ocho
Hey count again - I thought I had ten
O-o-o-ocho, o-o-o-o-ocho
It's evident: my womb is for rent

Can't afford any more
I still assure you I'll procreate
Vocation: replication
I should share my welfare
But I don't care, I just procreate
Need sitters for her litters

Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama

Ma-ma-mama
Ma-ma-mama

I'm not bluffin' that my muffin is for nothin' close to lovin'; it's for shovin' one more bun into my oven 'til I reach a dozen

So I'm the hostess with the mostest cell meiosis, and my closest diagnosis is eight doses of psychosis - holy Moses!

Got a need: gotta breed
There's donor seed and I procreate
She's wanting rampant spawning
I'm in pain, I'm insane
But I like fame so I procreate
Prolific and horrific

Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama
Pr-pr-pr-procreate, pr-pr-procreate
Ma-ma-mama!