1/29/10 - Robert Lund

Ok, this one is a little harder to classify the artist. It appears on a Robert Lund album, "Politicked Off". It's written by Spaff.com. It's sung by Michele Davis. It's audited by Bob, the accountant from Accountemps. But we'll get to that.

I just finished my taxes so taxes are on my mind. Sure, it's not even close to April 15th, but I don't like waiting until the last minute. Last year I did them early and they kept getting rejected because I had my daughter's birthyear wrong. Got it fixed on April 13th. Bad dad. This year, everything is good. I double-checked.

So with tax season coming up, what better way to send your tax check in but with a copy of Lund's/Spaff.com's/Michele's parody of Faith Hill's song, "Kiss This" called, "Kiss This! (Hey IRS)"? Again, I think Spaff is a lyrical genius. I have always enjoyed songs with tons of puns and double meanings (in the Christian world, Steve Taylor is the same way.) Spaff doesn't disappoint in this area.

Anyway, here's "Kiss This! (Hey IRS)":



Lyrics
I don't want no April 15th
I don't need another judgment day, no
Anything the good Lord giveth
Uncle Sam he
Taketh
Away
'Cause Big Brother's got a big debt
Baby, guess who has to pay?

It's the way you mug me
It's unspeakable pain
It's a personal washout
Down a bottomless drain
It's abhorrently taxing
It's uhhnn believable

Kiss this! Kiss this!
Hey IRS
Kiss this! Kiss this!

Doing taxes ain't so scary
Simply add up what you made, oh
Take it to the actuary
Where he subtracts
The tax
You've paid
Then you mail in twice the difference
Plus a check for Medicaid

It's a Form 1040
It's a penalty clause
It's inscrutable worksheets
It's nonsensical laws
It's unspendable income
It's uhhnn deductible

Kiss this! Kiss this!
Hey IRS
Kiss this! Kiss this!

You can tax me on my taxes
Then you tax the funds that remain
You can tax me on bikini waxes
For a jolt of similar pain
Slap on sadistic audits
Don't let anything pass
You've bent me over
So kiss - my - ass - ets

It's the way you mug me
It's relentlessly lame
It's aggressively wasteful
This unwinnable game
It's unsportsmanlike conduct
It's uhhnn depreciable

Kiss this! Kiss this!
It's criminal
Kiss this! Kiss this!

Kiss my bottom line there, baby
Kiss my bottom line there, darlin'